Bismillah
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Asalaamu alaikum, everyone!
A huge 'jazakAllahu khairan' to all who popped by in the last few days. I thought I would just squeeze in a short last-minute post before going to bed.
This one isn't really a piece of advice, as such. It is more a reflection, something I have learned in the last couple of years, as the mother of a teenager, and while working with teens.
And it is this:
We should be wary of pathologising our teenagers. Many of them are struggling with a whole host of issues: desires, fluctuating iman, doubts, self esteem, fitting in, loneliness and confusion. When we treat their 'rebellion' as a sign that they 'don't want Islam', we find ourselves unable to listen, empathise and guide with love and du'a. We panic. And, perhaps most tragically of all, we forget what it was like to be young and still trying to find yourself and cope with everyone's expectations. So our teenagers are left feeling utterly alone and beyond redemption. But no-one is beyond redemption, not until their very last breath. When you are fretting, anxious and terrified for your teen, remember that and call on Him."
I wrote this note on Facebook and it was addressed mainly to parents of teens, but I shared it with you to let you know that I get it. I do. It's hard out there.
You guys are facing challenges that your parents never dreamed you would, challenges so different to the ones we faced that we find it hard to deal with sometimes. Have patience with us. Try to open up, to share what you're going through, so that we know how to support you through it.
Most of us are aware of the challenges faced by the early Muslims: ostracised, boycotted, tortured, driven from their homes, hunted down, martyred. But we feel disconnected: our times are so different. The world has changed so much. Can we really learn anything from the experiences of the prophets, from the lives of the sahabah? How are their stories even relevant to us today?
Well, let me tell you something: every generation of believers has been tested. That is the way it has always been and the way it will always be.
"Do men think that they will be left alone on saying, "We believe", and that they will not be tested?
We did test those before them, and Allah will certainly know those who are true from those who are false."
Surah Al Ankabut, 2-3
So the qualities that sustained the believers at the time of the prophets, at the time of the sahabah, during the 'Golden Age', during the sacking of Baghdad, during the exodus from Spain, during colonial occupation, during the Cold War and, yes, in the Digital Age, are the same: iman (faith), tawakkul (reliance on Allah), istiqamah (steadfastness), yaqeen (certainty), sabr (patience), ikhlas (sincerity), confidence, courage, humility and hope.
How can developing these qualities in ourselves help us deal with the challenges we face as young Muslims in the modern world? What challenges are you facing in your life right now? How can peers, parents and other adults support you better? Please feel free to comment and share this post with your friends.
Let's do this. Bismillah...
